We all have those “million dollar ideas” from time to time.  Most of us never pursue them, so we never find out if they really were million dollar ideas… until someone else patents “YOUR” idea. And makes billions. That’s right, Billions.

Why hello Sarah Blakely, inventor of Spanx in 1998.  Except…. except…

It’s even hard to write about this.

Back in the dark ages of 1982 when I was 18 years old, I invented the exact same version of what is now famously known as Spanx. Yessir… a full 16 years before Sarah Blakely’s Spanx hit the market.  Young Sarah was 11 years old when I was cutting the feet off of a pair of pantyhose and wearing my “invention” under white jeans so that I could erase panty lines yet still have bare feet in a pair of flip flops.

What’s worse, it’s not as if I didn’t have encouragement to start a business.  My father, a business owner in his own right, frequently took me and some other lazy-ass friend of mine out for a “breakfast meeting”.  He’d encourage us to come up with an idea, start a business, etc…

Did I hear him? Sure.  Did I take his advice to heart?  Nope.  Do I regret it?  Ummm… yes. A billion time$ yes.

Sarah Blakely’s story is identical to mine except for the fact that she was not a lazy-ass. She spent only $5,000 plus some research and legwork to get someone to manufacture her product.  Then she dragged the buyers from Neiman Marcus and other high end retailers into their department store dressing rooms to demonstrate why her Spanx were worthy. And she made the sale every single time.

So. Sarah Blakely is a billionaire and I give her all the credit in the world.

And because humor is the best medicine for regret (and other maladies), every time I come up with a new million dollar idea that I soon realize has already been patented, I employ my best comical grimace and shout, “Aw, SPANX!”.   Makes my daughter laugh every time.  I can’t help but laugh along with her, but inside I’m shedding a billion little tear$.